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According to a new survey by dating site Ok Cupid, women who make the first move increase their chances of dating more attractive men.The study found that when a woman contacts a man first, 30 percent of those messages turn into a conversation.People tell me all the time that I’m witty and really pretty, and over the years, plenty have expressed shock that I don’t date … When she asked me why, I told her the truth: that since attractive men don’t like me, I’d just gotten used to taking whatever’s left over. It was the only time in my life I went on a date with such a guy. A good example is that over the summer, I was in a class with a really hot guy. Take some time to write down all your phrases on index cards. When I was younger, I never thought this was a problem, as everyone has social anxiety around attractive people, right? On the first index card that you carry in your purse, held together by a rubber band, you will have written the following:“These are my index cards.” Read it out loud. ” “Let’s have a drink.” “I’d like a drink, how about you? Among the index cards you might want to use at this time are ones containing the addresses of various bars, instruction phrases for the cab driver, and things to say to the attractive man sitting next to you in the dark, such as, “Take your hand off my knee,” or, “Put your hand on my knee,” or, “Let’s play Twister.”Just be sure to have plenty of index cards, indexed correctly for quick retrieval. He would be departing soon, and I’d be back to that familiar, empty feeling that comes after spotting an attractive man, making googly eyes across the room, or, er, sand in this case, then watching him leave without saying anything.I would spend the ride home wishing I had said something and wondering if I’d ever see him again.Attracting women is simple, easy and effortless once you know what you’re doing.However, if you choose to remain in the dark about attraction, it will continue to feel like one of the most difficult, frustrating, depressing things that you ever have to deal with in your life.
I could give you anecdotes about how backward that line of thinking is, but you’ll probably be more swayed by new research that says women making the first move is very good — at least online.
I remember the day my mind changed about making the first move. I’d called off of work for a desperately needed personal day. He’d been looking at me, and I’d been looking at him, each of us exchanging timid smiles, but neither of us had approached, much less said a word. I came back from a dip in the water and saw he’d put his shirt on.
But there was a lone, well-built stranger to my right.
Some of the many ways that you can attract women are with your confidence, charisma, charm, humor and masculine vibe. The more ways that you can make a woman feel attracted to you while you talk to her, the more she will be willing to overlook the fact that you’re not a perfect male model with loads of money and are just a normal guy.
That’s the truth, even if some people don’t want to believe it.
Dear Cary, You probably get letters like this all the time, but I thought I’d ask anyway. I only realized it was a problem a few years ago when I casually mentioned to a friend of mine that I’d never dated anyone I found attractive — and had even been embarrassed to be seen in public with a few of the men I had dated (and it’s not inexperience: I’ve had two miserable long-term relationships). Take the cards out, take the rubber band off and read the next one: “Would you like to hear some of the phrases? ” “Do you know a good place around here where we could go and have a drink? Eventually, after enough phrases have been exchanged, you may toss aside the index cards and begin speaking impromptu.